Authenticity. It’s the buzzword of the self-help world, the trait we’re told to embrace if we want to live a life full of joy, purpose, and wholeness. But what does it really mean to be “authentic”? Is it just about being honest with ourselves and others? Or is there something deeper, something raw and, at times, uncomfortable about stepping into true authenticity?
In this blog, I want to dig into what it really means to live authentically. If you’re ready to unmask the layers, dive into your shadows, and see the real you that’s been there all along, let’s go on this journey together.
1. Authenticity is Not About Being “Nice”
When we think about authenticity, we often imagine someone who is genuinely nice and kind, someone who says the right things and makes others feel good. But true authenticity has little to do with playing nice or pleasing people. In fact, it often involves rocking the boat and making others (and yourself) uncomfortable.
Authenticity means being true to your values, beliefs, and feelings—even when they don’t align with what others want or expect from you. Sometimes, it means saying “no” to invitations, ending friendships that no longer serve you, or calling out truths that people would rather ignore. Real authenticity requires strength and courage because it involves showing up as your real self, flaws and all.
2. The Masks We Wear
If we’re honest, most of us wear masks daily. We might have a “professional” mask for work, a “happy” mask for social gatherings, and a “cool” mask for social media. We wear these masks because, somewhere along the line, we were taught that who we truly are might not be acceptable. We might fear being judged, rejected, or even abandoned for showing our true selves. So, instead, we present a version of ourselves that we think others want to see.
But the more we play these roles, the more disconnected we become from our authentic selves. Over time, it can feel like you’re living in a house of mirrors, unsure which reflection is real. To reclaim our authenticity, we have to start stripping off these masks and questioning the roles we’ve taken on. Who are we really underneath all the layers of what we think we “should” be?
3. Embracing the Shadows
True authenticity isn’t just about embracing our strengths and passions—it’s also about acknowledging our shadows. These are the parts of ourselves that we might be ashamed of or prefer to keep hidden. But the truth is, these shadows are part of our authentic self too. They’re often where our deepest wounds, fears, and insecurities lie, but they’re also where we find the seeds of our greatest growth and transformation.
Embracing authenticity means embracing all parts of ourselves, not just the “positive” or “acceptable” ones. This might mean facing our anger, jealousy, or resentment head-on and working through it. It’s not easy, and it’s certainly not pretty, but doing this shadow work is essential for true authenticity.
4. The Role of Vulnerability
Authenticity and vulnerability go hand in hand. To be authentic is to be vulnerable, to show up as you are without armor. This might mean admitting you don’t have all the answers, that you’re struggling, or that you have fears and insecurities. Vulnerability allows us to connect with others on a real level, beyond the superficial. When we let others see our true selves, it gives them permission to do the same.
But vulnerability is scary. There’s always the risk that others might not accept us as we are. They might judge us, criticize us, or even reject us. But the reward of vulnerability—genuine connection, freedom from the need to constantly wear a mask, and the peace that comes with self-acceptance—is worth the risk.
5. Taking Responsibility for Your Authentic Self
Being authentic also means taking full responsibility for who you are and the choices you make. When we’re authentic, we’re not blaming others for our unhappiness or waiting for someone else to validate us. We’re willing to own our decisions, our mistakes, and even our quirks. Authenticity is about self-accountability—it’s about saying, “This is who I am, and I’m okay with it.”
This responsibility also extends to our growth. Authenticity isn’t a static state. As we grow, learn, and evolve, our authentic self can shift and change. Being authentic means allowing ourselves to change without shame and embracing the journey of self-discovery, no matter where it takes us.
6. Authenticity in Action: A Lifelong Practice
Living authentically is a lifelong practice, not a one-time decision. It requires us to constantly check in with ourselves, to question our motives, and to be brave enough to choose the path that aligns with our true self—even if it’s the harder path.
It also means forgiving ourselves when we fall short. There will be times when we revert to old patterns or put on a mask to protect ourselves. Authenticity doesn’t mean perfection; it means growth and awareness. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as we’re willing to learn from them and keep moving forward.
